Screech Owls
by RobertCop3
Summary: Short, humorous idea that came to me while looking at fanart. It's Mai's birthday, which she and Andy are celebrating in South Town. A night of passionate birthday sex in the guest room of the Sakazaki dojo has amusing repercussions the morning after...


**Screech Owls**

by

RobertCop3

So, this is a fairly short fic inspired by a piece of Mai fanart I recently discovered on Deviantart. The artist is JamilSC11, and the picture in question is serving as the cover art for this fic. Just a humorous slice-of-life moment on Mai's birthday. Hope you all enjoy!

All characters are the property of SNK/Playmore. I don't own them, the video games or the anime.

* * *

**South Town, USA – January 1st, 1999**

Andy Bogard shifted position on the couch yet again and looked at the clock on the wall. Quarter past six. They should have been at the party fifteen minutes ago, and in the next room, Andy's wife was still getting ready.  
"It's my birthday party, Andy," Mai explained before she went to go shower and change. "I'm expected to be fashionably late. And you're the planner, so I'm sure you can let that slide."  
_Well, we both know that second thing isn't true_, Andy thought. He knew that Mai liked to have a party on her birthday, but Andy had no clue how to plan them. Fortunately, they were already in South Town for the holidays, so Andy had enlisted the aid of Yuri and King to help him plan something. Mai's two very close friends were probably waiting at King's bar right now, along with Terry, Mary, and all the other guests, wondering where the birthday girl was...

"Okay, Andy, I'm read-eeeee," Mai said cheerfully as she bounced into the small living room of the Sakazaki dojo's guest quarters. Andy moved his gaze from the clock to Mai, about to say they were running late...

...And the words died in his throat when he saw what Mai was wearing. He knew that the ninja girl had started making herself a new dress for this party last month, but Andy had never seen it until now. The fabric was a deep red, the same shade as her kunoichi uniform, and she even had a sash around her waist in the style of her twin tails, a long piece of red and white cloth that was knotted at her right side with those familiar metal balls.

The skirt was slightly longer than most of Mai's dresses, stopping just above the knee, teasing the viewer with only the faintest glimpse of her perfectly-toned thighs. But her shapely legs were not meant to be the focal point of this dress. The neckline of the garment could better be described as a "boobline", as the dress was strapless, leaving everything above the nipples exposed. The top of the dress's front piece was comprised of two "cups" that provided just enough coverage for Mai's breasts to allow her to go out in public without getting arrested. The look was completed by the pearl necklace and pearl earrings that Andy had given her as her birthday present shortly after midnight that morning, which drew the eye to both her long neck, and the ample display of Mai's generous cleavage.

Andy stood up, his jaw dropping. Mai giggled as she did a full three-sixty turn, showing off both how the dress was backless, and also how well it hugged her voluptuous body, in particular the thick, meaty curvature of her toned butt. "Do you like it?" Mai asked him, having finished her turn. She had pulled out a fan and was smirking slyly at Andy from behind its folds, batting her long eyelashes in his direction.

Andy tried to say that she looked absolutely beautiful, and that he didn't deserve to be married to such a stunning goddess, but all that came out of his mouth was a stammering of her name, interspersed with two and three letter words that did not form any coherent sentence. Mai giggled as she snapped the fan shut and slipped it into her dress, then she stepped over to her husband, placed her fingertips on his chin, and gently closed his mouth. "It's okay, baby. The fact that you can't form a sentence right now is a great compliment." She stood up on tiptoes and planted a soft, juicy kiss on his left cheek, leaving behind a small trace of her cherry-red lipstick. "Thank you for my present, by the way. It compliments this dress perfectly."

Andy's brain finally deigned to restore his speech functions, so he said: "You're welcome, Mai." He leaned down and kissed her gently on her soft lips. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, baby," Mai said with a giggle.

"You look amazing in that dress," he finally managed to get his compliment out.

"Thanks again. Guess what it's made of?"

Andy pondered that for a moment. Then his eyes moved once more to the sash around Mai's waist, in particular the red and white metal balls. "Wait, is this... one of your ninja costumes?"

"Yup. Took a lot of work to alter it into this, but I can tell the results were worth it!"

"_Very _worth it,"Andy said with a nod as he wrapped his arms around Mai's slender waist and pulled her closer. One hand moved down to squeeze her bountiful rear as he leaned in to kiss those sweet red lips...

Mai could see a familiar light shining in his blue eyes, as well as feel a more familiar bulge in the crotch of his slacks, and so she gently placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back slightly. "Ah ah ah, Mr. Bogard," she said, waving one finger at him. "You must behave yourself. We have places to be right now."

Andy gave a growl of frustration. "We don't... even have time for a quickie?"

Mai shook her head. "Nope. It's my party, and we can't be _too _fashionably late. But don't worry, Andy. I'll be good and drunk by the time the party's over, so when we get back here I expect you to take full advantage of me in that state." Her voice then dropped to a sultry whisper. "And I have a list of naughty things I want you to do to me."

Andy gave a small shudder at hearing that, and found himself feeling grateful that the guest quarters of Takuma's dojo were separate from the main house, since Mai would likely be screaming loud enough to wake the dead when Andy finally took her to bed. After taking a few deep breaths to get himself under control, he then said: "If that's what you want, my beautiful birthday girl."

Mai giggled. "It is, Andy. Now come on. Let's not keep them waiting any longer."

"Right." Andy took off his jacket and gently draped it over the creamy soft skin of Mai's bare shoulders, then he went to the front door and slid it open. "After you."

Mai giggled again. "Thank you, baby," she said. As she passed her husband, she placed a kiss on his right cheek, leaving another imprint of her lipstick. Andy followed her, slid the door shut and locked it with the key Takuma had given him, and then he and Mai began walking arm in arm through the chilly night towards their rental car.

Andy tried to keep his eyes forward, but his gaze kept moving down to his wife, in particular the way her large, perky breasts bounced ever-so-slightly under the fabric of her dress with each step she took. He used all his control to stop himself from pitching another tent in his pants. _This is gonna be a long night_, he thought to himself.

* * *

_The next morning..._

Mai Shiranui-Bogard awoke slowly with the horrible feeling of what seemed like her own heart pounding inside her head, along with the more pleasant feeling of Andy spooned up against her. She only half-remembered the things they'd done last night after Andy had gotten her back to their guest quarters, but what she _did _remember... had been earth-shattering. Both the bed and the air in the bedroom still carried the faint smell of hot sex.

_Another home-run, Andy_, Mai thought to herself, hoping those positive thoughts would help to ease her headache. Sadly, that was not to be, and since Mai was a morning person, she knew she wouldn't be falling back to sleep. She would have liked to snuggle with Andy for a little longer. But sadly, she realized that if she didn't get up to pee, she was going to burst.

She sat up slowly on the bed, shivering slightly as the cooler air in the room made contact with her naked body, causing thousands of goosebumps to break out all over her. She quickly made her way to the bathroom, and after answering the call of nature, came back out into the bedroom to dress.

She donned a pair of hip-hugging cotton undershorts and a white camisole, then threw her bathrobe on over that. She then turned back to the bed and saw that Andy was still asleep. Usually, when Mai was awake, the lack of her warm body next to him was enough to wake Andy as well.

_Guess I wore him out,_ Mai thought, and giggled softly in the dim stillness of the room. _I do remember that we did everything on the list. I'll definitely need to find an excuse to wear my new dress again._

Mai briefly recalled last night at La Illusion, how Andy had been trying to make sure his wife was having a good time. But he kept getting distracted by watching Mai walk the room, unable to take his eyes off her in that dress. That look of animal lust she'd first seen in the living room of their quarters intensified throughout the night, to the point where Mai was sure that it was taking all of Andy's self control to stop from grabbing her by the hand and dragging her into the Ladies Room for a quick pounding in public. So needless to say, when they'd gotten back here after the party... saying that what happened next was "fireworks" would be the understatement of the year.

Mai walked over to the futon, gave Andy a soft kiss on his cheek. "Sleep, Andy," she whispered in his ear. "You deserve the rest after last night. I'll bring you back something to eat later. God knows you need it." Mai then pulled the comforter up to his neck, left the bedroom, and made her way outside.

She winced slightly as she stepped out through the front door of the guest quarters, and the morning sun pierced her retinas, making her head pound anew. The ninja girl definitely needed coffee, but before that, she needed something different. Mai started up the stone path towards the main structure of the Sakazaki dojo. It was a crisp fifty-five degrees out, which most residents of Florida would consider freezing, but to a girl like Mai, who had endured Japan's winters her whole life (and also controlled fire), the air was balmy.

After entering the dojo, Mai made her way towards the joined kitchen/dining room. She entered to find both Yuri Sakazaki and her father kneeling at opposite ends of the low table. Yuri was dressed in a white spaghetti-strap tanktop, and blue pajama pants with pictures of the Powerpuff Girls all over them, and was eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. Yuri had not had as much to drink last night as the birthday girl, but it was clear from her expression that she was nursing her own hangover. Takuma, meanwhile, was reading his morning newspaper while he tucked into a plate of toast, fruit, and cold smoked salmon.

Mai cleared her throat to announce herself, then gave a respectful bow to the dojo's master. "Good morning, Master Takuma," she said cheerfully. "Yuri-chan."

Takuma looked up from his paper and gave her nod. "Mai-san. Good morning."

"Morning, Mai," Yuri echoed. "Where's Andy?"

"Still asleep," Mai answered. "He... had a pretty busy night."

Yuri took another bite of cereal in order to suppress a giggle. Takuma did not get the real meaning of Mai's words, and simply said: "Ryo-san and Garcia-san are still asleep, too. It sounds like it was a good party, then."

"Oh, it was," said Mai. "Which reminds me: where do you keep your blender?"

"Really, Mai?" Yuri asked her with a smirk. "Starting so soon?"

"No," Mai said indignantly. "I just... wanna make a smoothie."

Takuma, without looking up from the newspaper, gestured to the adjacent kitchen. "Second cabinet above and to the right of the sink."

"Arigato, Master," Mai said with a bow, and made her way into the kitchen. After finding the blender, she began to open and close all the cabinets, as if she were looking for things, pulling out random bottles and spices in her search. When Mai started rummaging through the fridge, Yuri and her father took notice.

"Mai, what exactly are you making?" The karate girl asked.

"Oh, just a little something for my hangover," the ninja girl responded. "I grew up in a clan of ninja, so of course I learned all about toxins and poisons. But I also learned ways to counter them. What I'm making might taste bad, but it is, no kidding, the world's best cure for a hangover." Mai plugged the blender in and started to add ingredients to it.

"There's no such thing," Takuma said absently.

"Well, with all due respect, Master Takuma, I am master of my own dojo, so I know what I'm talking about."

Takuma gave a non-committal grunt, and went back to reading his paper.

Yuri cocked one of her eyebrows. "Um... can you make me one?"

"Sure, Yuri," Mai said cheerfully. She had just finished adding the ingredients to the blender, so she then sealed the top and turned it on. A few moments later, the blender was full of a dull yellow liquid. Mai poured half of it into a glass for Yuri, then poured the rest for herself, and made her way back to the table. Kneeling down at one of the vacant spots, she offered a glass to her friend. "Just drink that down as fast as you can," Mai said. "And I guarantee within a few minutes, you'll feel like a million bucks."

Mai then pinched her nose shut and brought her own glass to her lips, tilting her head back and draining it in a matter of seconds. That done, she got back up and went back into the kitchen to get some coffee. Yuri eyed her own glass warily, then picked it up and sniffed it. Her nose wrinkled as she caught a whiff of what smelled like pond scum. Then her gaze moved over to Mai, who was humming cheerfully as she puttered around the kitchen, putting all the smoothie ingredients away and pouring herself a steaming mug of coffee.

Finally, Yuri brought the glass to her lips and managed to take a sip. It took all of her fighting discipline not to gag, and by the time Mai had come back with her coffee and a bowl of fruit salad, Yuri had managed to drink it all down. She chased it with several bites of Lucky Charms, to excise the taste from her mouth.

"Atta girl, Yuri," Mai said as she knelt by one of the table settings. "Just keep that down, and you'll be feeling better in no time."

"I hope so," Yuri said, and took another bite of cereal. Surprisingly, a few bites later, Yuri found that she could actually chew without setting off bombs in her head. "Wow, Mai... don't know what's in that, but it really does work. Thanks!"

"Anytime, girl," Mai said as she gave her friend a hug. "Thank _you _for my party last night. I had a blast!"

"Oh, well, you know it was Andy..."

Mai giggled. "Yuri, honey, you don't have to cover for him. I _love _my hubby more than anything, but he doesn't know the first thing about how to plan parties. So thank you for helping him!"

Yuri laughed and raised her coffee mug at Mai. "Anytime."

After a few moments, Takuma asked the kunoichi: "So, Mai-san, did you and your husband sleep well in the guest rooms?"

"Oh, yes, Master," Mai answered. "Andy and I had a _wonderful _sleep. Best sleep we've had in weeks. Thank you for asking."

Yuri had to suppress a giggle at Mai's words. The true meaning of what the busty ninja said was again lost on Takuma, as he answered by saying: "That's good. Because it sounds like the screech owls are back."

Mai looked confused, while Yuri struggled to contain more laughter. Takuma went on to say: "A few months ago, we had a problem with screech owls living in the trees out by the guest quarters. I could hear their shrieking at night while I was trying to sleep. I wanted to deal with the lot of them, but Yuri-chan insisted we use those 'humane' traps to capture them alive, and then have animal control relocate them to the woods outside of the city. But it seems they've come back. I could hear them screeching for a few hours last night, out by the guest quarters."

Mai now joined Yuri in trying to suppress laughter, as she quickly figured out that what the Kyokugen master had heard was the sound of Mai screaming in the throes of passion, as Andy had worked his magic on her. Mai didn't know whether she should be impressed that her screams traveled that far, or offended that Takuma thought she was a bird.

"Are you two all right?" Takuma asked them, finally noticing their attempts at trying to hold a giggling fit at bay.

"We're... fine, Master," Mai said, suppressing her laughter by shoving a forkful of fruit into her mouth. "It's just... a side effect of my hangover drink."

"Hm." Takuma studied them both for a long minute. Then he put down the newspaper and rose from the table. "Pardon me a moment. I have to go get the phonebook."

After he'd left the room, both girls finally exploded into gales of laughter. It took about a minute for them to get it out of their system, and then Yuri said: "Damn, Mai... you've got a healthy set of lungs."

Mai giggled and took a sip of coffee. "And Andy has a healthy set of... something else." Her voice then dropped to a whisper. "Speaking of which, did you and Robert..."

"Twice," Yuri answered in the same low voice. "But we were a bit stealthier than you."

"You go, girl!" Mai whispered. As the two women were clinking their coffee mugs together in a toast, Takuma re-entered the kitchen/dining area with the Yellow Pages in hand.

"Are you two ladies conspiring at my table?" He asked, having noticed their toast.

"No, Master Takuma," Mai said sweetly. "Just discussing how awesome the party was last night."

"Hm," Takuma answered with another gruff nod, then took his seat again and started to flip through the phone book. "Now what is the number for that exterminator I like to use?"

"Um... you may want to sleep on it another night or two before you spend any money to solve the problem, Master," Mai told her host. "I have a very strong hunch that after tomorrow, you won't be hearing those screech owls any more." Which was true, since she and Andy were flying back to their dojo tomorrow morning.

After thinking for a moment, Takuma put the phone book down, and resumed eating his own breakfast. "Very well. But I hope you're right. I tried doing it Yuri-chan's way, and if they _have _come back, I'll now have to handle it my way." He gave a solemn bow in Yuri's direction. "No offense, Yuri-chan. But I _must _find a permanent solution to this problem."

Yuri gave a small shrug and poured herself another bowl of Lucky Charms. "It's your roof, dad," she said.

Her father gave another solemn nod. "I'm glad you see the wisdom of your elders, daughter." Takuma popped another slice of salmon in his mouth and resumed reading his newspaper, completely missing the knowing winks being exchanged between Yuri and Mai, nor did he hear them trying to suppress more giggles...

* * *

ADDITIONAL NOTES

So, I live in Florida, and between November and February, it can actually get down into the 40s and 50s at night and in the morning (and sometimes in the 30s). Everyone else has a problem with it, but I grew up in Connecticut, so I know what real winter is like. So my attitude towards Florida natives is very much Mai's.

Also, even though Mai is not his student, she's calling Takuma "master" as a courtesy, because she's a guest at his dojo.

And that's all for now. Feel free to review.


End file.
